Comfort Zone

I was recently reminded of a blanket from my past. I'm not really sure why I was reminded about this particular blanket. I was on one of my many commutes to the work place in the dark and early hours of the morning, when I was thinking about what to get everyone for Christmas this year. Hmmm? For some reason blankets popped into my head. Maybe this was because my obsession last year around Christmas was THE MINKY COUTURE blankets that are local to UTAH. I bought a bunch of them last year as I slowly disposed of my old blankets. I love blankets........one could never have too many! "The Minky blanket would be a nice gift", I thought, but I'm still not decided on gifts for this year. Sorry fam, don't get your hopes up. You might get stuck with another homemade item, haha! Maybe I'll make blankets this year........great idea? Not sure yet! Okay, so, then there it was in my mind as if I had snuggled up with it yesterday; The blanket from my past. This was THE BLANKET of all blankets! When I say THE BLANKET, I mean THE BLANKET. It was and maybe still is the blanket I think of when I think of comfort.

My dad went on a sabbatical for the University back in the 1980s. I believe it was to see one of the solar eclipses. He went to Peru for a few weeks. I was just a baby at the time. He brought back this giant alpaca wool blanket. It was beautiful! It was brown and white and had alpacas on it in this squarish design, kind of like the Emperor's New Groove. That's what it makes me think of. This blanket was the most warm, comfortable, soft blanket. It was one of those things that seemed to get better with time. The more it was used and washed, the softer and fuzzier it got. As kids, we would fight over it! We would snuggle up on the couch with it, take naps with it, and when we were sick we got to sleep on the couch with THE BLANKET. In the winter it would lay on top of one of our beds at night for extra warmth and comfort. This was THE COMFORT ZONE! This blanket could go in the dictionary as the definition for comfort, or the creation of the comfort zone.

Lately, I've been stuck in a metaphorical comfort zone........my weight. I've been, you know sort of half way, hap hazardly "trying" to lose weight, or maintain weight. My comfort zone has involved quite a lot of food lately........I can't help myself, I love donuts and pastries and fast food. I love to try new things and I have a sweet tooth. It can be hard to keep all of that under control. Despite wanting to shed the extra pounds, I have been a little stuck at times. It is really hard to get to the gym and maintain a regular exercise schedule. I'd really rather wrap up in a Minky and just not think about it, and pretend the extra weight will magically shed as I sleep, haha! I've really been trying to push myself, but it took me getting to the point of my current jeans getting just a little too tight........and if I'm honest, getting sick of my current diet. You know when you're all wrapped up in a blanket, all comfortable and then suddenly you just get over heated, like having a hot flash? Yeah, that's how I've been feeling lately with my jeans, diet, and exercise.......THE COMFORT ZONE finally gets too hot, or uncomfortable. It's a wake up call, I suppose.

I feel like I'm also seeing this happen in culture a little bit. I think media culture, ad culture, or just culture in general changes comfort zones every couple of decades. When I was a kid everyone was obsessed with being thin and attractive. This was probably spilled over from the 1970s and 1980s. I would say it affected me in both positive and negative ways. I've recently been watching Smallville from the early 2000s. I missed seasons 6-10, so it has been fun to watch those now for the first time. That show really was the best.......so well written. One thing that stood out to me was how Lois dressed in the show, actually how all of the girls dressed. That's how all the girls were obsessed with looking when I was in high school. There was always so much pressure to be "hot" . I've always been into being stylish and well dressed. I love fashion! Even before I lost weight I was into the pencil skirts and form fitting button up shirts paired with heels. This is very much a Lois Lane at the Daily Planet look. I wore this style even more after losing weight.

Another thing about Smallville that occurred to me was that the girls were never afraid to be girls, and dress very feminine. They were very attractive in many cases, and no it wasn't even the dresses, but the Jeans. They looked good in their jeans and thick, low-waisted, decorative belts. I was reminded how this has slowly vanished from TV, movies, and ads. Things have either gone to the extreme side of that "hot", becoming trashy, or it's gone very opposite of "hot" and feminine. I thought it was funny when I listened to a woman commentator on the recent Superman movie. She very plainly pointed out her problem with Lois' shoes in the scene where her and Superman are floating and kissing. The reason this was funny to me was because that was my exact thought months earlier when I had seen the trailer. "What's with the shoes? They are big and clunky! That's not Lois Lane!"

My biggest issue upon seeing the first look at Superman and the thing that stuck out to me like a sore thumb was the way Lois was dressed. She looked like a lazy, just rolled out bed, put on the first thing she saw on her floor, and barely ran a brush through her hair kind of person, not lady, or girl, or woman, just person not willing to show any kind of femininity whatsoever. This was purely based on the trailer. Not to mention the shoes. She looks like the type that owns 2 pairs total. Based on the ones she is wearing it looks like she buys a pair of shoes that will last her 5 plus years because they are thick and heavy so they won't wear out, and of course they go with everything, so one might think! Haha! I know this because I used to be this person! I used to be un-feminine, as if I was afraid of my femininity. I used to hate any kind of cutesy, complicated shoes. I wanted the simplest, long lasting, cheap shoes that could go with the greatest amount of my clothing. I still do this to an extent, but I've learned to appreciate my femininity, and complicated shoes. I've learned to not be afraid of my womanhood. I know these seem like shallow observations to have, but it is a good illustration of how women have changed comfort zones over the years in the way we dress. I'm not sure I like this comfort zone.

The other comfort zone women have gotten into is the "I'm perfect just the way I am" zone. I really don't like this phrase because it is so limiting. We are NOT perfect just the way we are! We have things to work on, to learn, and to improve. This phrase, however well meaning it is, suggests that we cannot improve ourselves at all. Mostly, the way in which this phrase often is applied is with body image. In recent years, clothing ads have increasingly gone with larger models, or just diversity of body type. I have appreciated some of this because when I was younger there was so much pressure to be thin. Thin was the only way to be beautiful. The transitional period was nice when people were out there saying that there is beauty at all sizes, and it's helpful to see clothing on different body types before you buy it, but we've maybe gone too far. Now, there has been a glorification of obesity. Over weight, unhealthy weight, and unhealthy lifestyle have dominated much of the media space.

The last time I walked into Victoria's Secret I was very confused! Where did all of the very aspirational beauty go? It was like being transported back to my pre-pubescent, and pubescent teenage years when I hated being feminine! I'm supposed to feel empowered by this? No more all out beauty, just larger, manikins, and pictures of either very plain women of various body types wearing underwear, not the fancy kind, or very skinny, sporty looking women wearing I'm not even sure what! Yes, Victoria lost her secret! I was okay with the diversity of models for sure, but all of them were just very average looking. They went from highly feminine, decked out, over the top beautiful models to all plain and sporty. That's your choice now plain and sporty. There was a clear absence of femininity and emphasized beauty. A very obvious absence of makeup and longer hair. As an adult woman I've had no desire whatsoever to re enter the pubescent time of my life!

I have a secret........back when Victoria's Secret had a huge clothing line online, I bought a lot of clothes from them. This was back when I was a bigger girl! If I didn't look like the VS Angels why did I buy their clothes? The models were aspirational. I mean, I know I probably would never look exactly like them, but I could come close with great effort if I wanted, and buying the clothes was like a first step to looking better, nicer, and more feminine. Yes, their clothes were very Smallville Lois Lane and ladies! They had very gorgeous clothing. They had to scrap their clothing line in part because their marketing was forced to change from the very beautiful to the mediocre and average. I haven't purchased a single item from them since their marketing changed. I blame the extreme feminists, the envious, and the insecurities that have been bred in our new comfort zone! It was no longer acceptable to have these gorgeous models before our eyes no matter what they were wearing.

Somewhere along the way women couldn't look at the VS Super models with admiration and appreciation as an aspirational, inspirational mark that we could come closer to by buying Victoria's Secret clothing. Women could no longer tolerate the very beautiful because it made us feel bad and we decided it was unrealistic. So, we had to make everything very mediocre and average in an effort to draw the average crowd and be relatable. The truth is, people need a reason to WANT to buy your products. There has to be value. There has to be desire for it. Beauty has always been an obvious draw. When I look at ads now I have no reason to WANT to buy their stuff to make myself look sloppy, or average, or non feminine, or to look like a man. I have no desire for that. I mean sure, buying Victoria's Secret isn't going to suddenly turn me into a blonde bombshell, but are the clothes going to make me feel pretty, feminine, or beautiful? Yes, that's why we buy.

I'm a fan of the free market and I like variety. None of this is to say that we can't have sporty clothes, plain Jane stuff, plus size, or diversity of body type. There's nothing wrong with proudly displaying various body types and being realistic. I'm not here to rag on women who choose to dress different, or prefer a different style. I believe there is room for all of it. Why can't we have the sporty, the plain, and the very feminine? Many companies have abandoned the feminine. Why can't Victoria's Secret be what it was, Nike can be what it is, high fashion can be what it is, and American Eagle can be what it is? "But Victoria's Secret is sexualizing and objectifying women, and it's misogynistic!" Okay we could have that discussion, however Victoria's Secret is a lingerie brand, a woman's brand and if you don't like it you don't have to buy it. Last time I checked that's how the market worked! I wonder if those VS Angels were complaining about making tons of money being models for that company. If this option in the market is so terribly bad for everyone, then wouldn't it eventually leave the market just based on choice of the customer because it's bad? Well, I'm not sure the marketing changes this company made helped them financially. To make a long story short, their sales suffered, and they brought sexy back! That's right femininity and over the top beauty reappeared once again at Victoria's Secret, and they made money again, what a concept! Who would have thought that the pendulum would swing so far that discrimination against the beautiful would be a thing? Crazy!

The truth is, I don't want to see people just like me in ads to sell me something. I want to see something different, beautiful, aspirational, otherwise it's very anti-climactic. I would like to see the dream they are selling. I see myself everyday as I am. I want to buy something to improve myself, or something that makes me feel different, or better. I want the ad to motivate me to buy their product. I want the ad to really sell me on it! I don't need an ad to tell me I'm beautiful and accepted. Maybe we shouldn't look to ads for self-esteem building. Look at them for what they are; a ploy to sell you something.

I'm not sure it's a good thing to tell everyone that they are perfect the way they are and there is no room for improvement. I'm all about teaching people to love themselves at all sizes and to build confidence, but there is no true confidence building in just telling people what they want to hear, or changing all models to look like the average. Confidence, self-esteem, and true love for oneself comes from hard work and doing hard things. It comes from accomplishment that is meaningful. Anything meaningful isn't easy. Let's be real; people admire, look up to, and have respect for people who are disciplined, people who work hard to stay in shape. Maybe a better thing to say would be, "I love myself just the way I am right now" and "I am beautiful just the way I am........but what can I do to improve?" Maybe society puts too much emphasis on beauty and beauty standards. We can have that conversation and I can agree with that most definitely. We also can't deny the fact that we are drawn to it though. We like beauty and beauty sells.

I was a fat girl once! I know what it feels like! We can sit there with envy of the girls who stay thin naturally, but that does nothing for us. I used to harbor jealousy for girls that seemed to always stay fit and thin with little effort, but I didn't really know if it was little effort. They probably were that way because they engaged in more activity than me, ate healthier than me, and maybe they did have better genes than me in ways that were unknown to me at the time. Good genes can be had by all people. How did I get this chip off my shoulder? I made a conscious decision to find an attractive quality in every person I passed, worked with, talked with, and simply saw. I did not always tell the person, but I always thought about it. There are attractive qualities in all of us. Why is it so hard in today's society for us to compliment others or deal with the fact that some people are more beautiful than us? Have we become so insecure and selfish that we have to bring everyone else down just so we can have some confidence? This is a false assurance of confidence.

I just ordered my "Great Jeans" and I hope they can improve the look of my "genes"! I do love the word play....I thought it was cute and creative! I actually found the whole American Eagle ad campaign funny. From the way Sydney Sweeney was talking to the way she was walking. It was so Mean Girls or 1990's Clueless. It was brilliant irony! It got me to buy some, and they have a great sale going on right now! What can I say? I am a biologist! Is it possible to improve our genes, or the expression of them? Yes, by buying American Eagle Jeans, haha!.....No, really, it's called epigenetics. When I drastically changed my life losing 45 pounds and becoming the healthiest I'd ever been, my eye color changed. I had always had dark brown eyes. After dramatic changes in my life which included giving my body what it was lacking, they changed to a lighter brown, and they started looking green more often. It sounds weird and very sci-fi, but it's a real thing. I have great jeans, Sydney Sweeney has great jeans, EVERYONE has great jeans!

Speaking of jeans, is it just me or are Jean companies making their jeans bigger? In 2011, I went through a significant weight loss. I dropped 45 pounds, over 30 inches, and 6% body fat. I went from a size 14 to a size 5. This was something I never thought I could achieve. Back then most Jean size 5s fit me. Two kids and 14 years later, I've slowly packed on some of those pounds again. I now am realistically a size 8, or 10, however many jeans I've purchased lately have been size 6. I know I can't be a size 6 now, because I was that size 14 years ago when I was much smaller and lighter. I find it interesting, as media has glorified the over weight and even obese, Jean manufacturers have slowly redefined the dress sizes.....and they have increasingly run much larger than previous decades. At this rate I could be a size 4 in 10 years and gain 10 lbs! Haha! Back when I was smaller I remember American Eagle jeans seemed to run small. I usually had to get a size up. I did buy a size 10, so I hope they fit! This gives us all a false sense of security in our sizes. I've always loved leggings and I live in them sometimes. Sometimes when I wear them for long periods of time and then I try on my jeans, my jeans are tight........there's that false sense of security again. I've learned to wear my jeans every few days to keep myself in check! So, I have just started a new weight loss journey. I started using Herbalife's Multi-burn about 2 weeks ago, and have significantly changed my diet. In 2 weeks I've lost 3.5 inches, and 4 lbs. I'm reaching my goal again of shedding the excess pounds to be healthier and happier!

I have to say the American Eagle ads are motivating! I actually liked the times when women were not afraid to be women, when they loved their femininity, and even sometimes flaunted it a little! I liked the days with the "hot", beautiful models! That is truly a draw to all women whether they want to admit it or not. You want to buy the product to look like them! I can appreciate the more modern ad campaigns that show various body types and sizes because you can see yourself being beautiful in their product! However, way back before.......all of that.......when we just had the "hot" models, we didn't need to see the various body types. Somehow we just knew that we could look good too, so we would go buy whatever they were selling. This makes me wonder.......do we have confidence issues across the board? Even in those days, my fat days, I still thought confidently that I could wear Victoria's Secret clothing.....and I did! We have to learn to love our look at all sizes. Love your body at all sizes and have confidence! I love the Sydney Sweeney ad because it takes me back to a time when we didn't need to see all the body types in order to feel like we could also look good in a brand or a style.

The internet lost its ever loving mind with these ads. Sweeney and American Eagle have been labeled as Nazis. They have been accused of white supremacy and eugenics. All of this because they brought back the American white girl with blue eyes and blond hair that happens to be very attractive. We all know that it has been well established that Ms. Sweeney is very beautiful and "hot"! So, when a company uses that to their advantage and blatantly acknowledges her "hotness" by making the play on words to say she has good jeans/genes in order to sell their product, we can't handle it. It's clear that she is not what we have seen in Jean ads over the past 7 years or so.

When this got out of hand on social media and news outlets, American Eagle doubled down by releasing their other ads about Sydney Sweeney's friends. I got a kick out of this! Her "friends" are all very attractive, but are very diverse. This said loud and clear that they did not mean only white, blond hair, blue eyed girls. They could have done this with any model of any size or color. "You have good genes" has been a great compliment that has been around for awhile. When people say this, they don't mean that we should annihilate all people without those genes. No one said that Sydney Sweeney's genes were superior to any others. I'm starting to think that too many people take too many things very literally and way too seriously. I'm starting to think that society as a whole has lost its sense of humor. Does no one get satire, puns, sarcasm, or play on words? Time for society to take another chill pill! Get out of your comfort zones and gain understanding, humor, and improve yourself or your thinking. Keep the donuts away from me! Just remember there is always room for improvement. Most importantly remember EVERYONE has "good genes". God did not mess you up! We all have divine DNA! We ALL have "GOOD GENES" and if you shop at American Eagle you might have "good Jeans" too!