A Feminine Feminist
Two of my favorite things as a kid were Cabbage Patch dolls and Barbie. Although I did not really play with Barbie much, I collected her and have been a Barbie collector most of my life! Of the two I always felt I related better to the pudgey Cabbage Patch doll, haha! Barbie has always been this representation of feminism, a feminist icon in a sense. She sends girls around the world the message that she can do anything, be anything, and encourages all girls to follow their dreams. Women can rule the world, be successful, and do anything a man can do! At the same time though, she has contributed to the ongoing concept of sexism. While being and doing anything, she looks like a super model while doing it and has unrealistic body dimensions, sending a negative message about body image! She sends the vibe that you must look amazing or even unrealistic in order to gain success and have people like you. Maybe Barbie is partially to blame for the skewed feminist vision, and/or the cause of some sexism in society!?! Anyway, I still love Barbie!
In recent years I have come across a new doll called Lammily! I had the opportunity to donate to this project in the beginnings to help make Lammily a reality! These dolls have body dimensions based on realistic measurements of average teenage girls and boys. They can also do or be anything! I love it! I hope it is widely accepted and wildly successful!
https://lammily.com/#
What is femininity? What is feminism? They are two very different things, but are they? I personally believe that they are just two halves of a whole. Both are, in part socially constructed, but also biologically constructed. I think they are too closely related for one to abandon the other!
Femininity by definition is attributes, behaviors, and roles associated with girls and women. It is delicacy and prettiness. Feminism by definition is the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes. Feminism is a range of social movements,
political movements, and ideologies that share a common goal: to define,
establish, and achieve the political, economic, personal, and social
equality of the sexes. Feminism means different things to different people though, there is a wide range of beliefs under the umbrella of feminism. In recent years the term Feminism has been, in a sense, hijacked, changed, or molded according to one's own ideals. I think the actual definition gets cloudy and confused. I would consider myself a feminist to the extent of equal rights and empowering women to be their best! I also believe in traditional roles of men and women to the extent that it is needed and desired. I do not believe that to be a feminist or to attain equal rights requires taking away the rights of men. It seems to me that the term feminism has taken on that meaning for some, which is sad. Is it about equal rights anymore? Or is it about domination? I hate to see women abuse their femininity to tempt men in some hostile feminist quest to dominate, that is degrading to both sexes. Gaining equal rights also does not mean that women will never be the victims of someone else's bad decisions. A good article about why many women don't like to use the term Feminist. https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-47006912
As a young college student, I remember being one of the oldest young women in my college singles ward at the age of 22. Growing up in a relatively small town with certain traditions and probably 95% of the population being members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, there were expectations. Don't get me wrong, I love my church, but for a time the culture was to get married young and have children. This culture is changing, thankfully. I was treated as an "old maid" at the age of 22 and it was disgraceful that I was not married yet. Out of the bubble of Utah, the rest of the world marries in their late 20s to early 30s on average. While attending a small town University, I witnessed many young girls fall into the trap that they should go to college until they find a husband and then drop out and have babies. I saw some pretty sad situations grow from this accepted idea. I saw many get divorced after months or 1 year. I saw many situations of abuse and controlling relationships. I even saw some get married due to family pressure, and ultimately end in disaster.
Is it better to get married due to your age, a mere number, or when you are mature and ready/willing? To state the obvious Men and Women are both human beings and they should all have an equal opportunity to grow and develop in their own time. I believe both sexes need to find themselves before they are in a relationship. When you get married, it can be easy to kind of lose yourself a little, sometimes. If you do not know who you are before entering a relationship, then you may never know who you are. In marriage you are 2 halves of a whole, but you must still be yourself too. Man and Woman equally together, with combined personalities and qualities, have the ability to make great things! I'm all for women gaining equal rights in a world that was/is dominated by men, in many ways. I'm all for women being independent and successful, getting paid the same as men, and having the same opportunities as men, but I also don't want to be a man! I don't want women to take the place of men, I don't want to shove men aside and take away from them the very things women fight to have equally. If we are to become like men, then wouldn't that defeat feminism? In this extreme case, one could say ultimately that the men still conquered.I do see some women abandon their femininity as they become feminist. This is not all women, it is somewhat of a stereotype, but it is on the spectrum of feminism. To me feminism should be a celebration of our differences with men, it should be demanding respect for those feminine qualities that are contained within us. To me feminism is finding value in our femininity and showing it to the world and proving the need for it in order to attain equality! The world needs femininity! No matter what you fight for or stand for, it takes courage and endurance, no one will just hand you equality. Anyone who wants anything has to bring to the table what they have to offer and prove its value. There are many injustices in the world, but whining about it never gets you anywhere! I think sometimes we need to put these injustices into perspective as well because inequality also means different things to different people.
Some of my favorite women who had a great impact on society, equality, and feminism were very feminine. Lucille Ball is probably my favorite actress and comedian of all time. She was hugely successful, but her life was very difficult. When she first attended a dramatic school of arts they said she would never make it, she was too timid. Before she became a model she was criticized for her looks, of course, not pretty enough! When she insisted on Desi Arnaz playing her husband on I Love Lucy, no one liked it, they thought it would never work or be likeable. When she and her husband Arnaz insisted on filming in Hollywood rather than New York, CBS fought them, but they struck a deal in the end that eventually made Desilu Productions undeniably successful. You can thank Desilu for the rerun, yes it was Ball and Arnaz that first had the idea of filming differently and keeping all rights to the original programming. Syndication was born with the I Love Lucy show. CBS still makes about $20 Million a year just off of I Love Lucy reruns.
https://www.today.com/popculture/cbs-knows-why-it-still-loves-i-love-lucy-20-1B6030588
Lucy was smart and innovative! When Star Trek was brought to the TV network world as an idea, everyone thought it was crazy, except Lucille Ball. Yes, you can thank her for Star Trek, she went with her gut feeling on that idea and she gave it a chance. Everything in her life seemed to be an uphill battle. One thing I always love about her is that she was always so feminine, graceful and stood up for her womanly characteristics!
https://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/a32243/desi-arnaz-quote-about-lucille-ball/
https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/lucille-ball-and-desi-arnaz-had-a-horrible-divorce-says-daughter-they-were-fighting-all-the-time
Audrey Hepburn, another of my favorites! She also lived a hard life, but rose above the trial and difficulty with elegance! She is the epitome of elegance! She became successful and influential! Recognized as a film and fashion icon, you would never guess that she grew up in the midst of Nazi occupation in the Netherlands. Her dad was a Nazi agent, her mom supported the occupation for the first 2 years, and her uncle was brutally murdered by the Nazis. She eventually became part of the Dutch Resistance after moving to Holland. Her father left the family and her mother changed her heart about the Nazis. As a young girl she performed ballet in secret to raise money for the resistance on what they called "Black evenings". Her and other children also helped pass messages and illegal leaflets about the war. She was literally a spy!
Hepburn lived just 60 miles away from Anne Frank, in Holland, and was her same age. Their lives were somewhat parallel, but their futures were not. When Hepburn was asked to play the role of Anne Frank in a film she refused, it was all just too close to home for her. Her life was much like Anne's life. She was in hiding for a time where she experienced starvation, but Holland was liberated on her 16th birthday! She later became an ambassador for UNICEF and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1992. After being diagnosed with cancer she still traveled the world with UNICEF. https://people.com/movies/audrey-hepburns-secret-past-new-book-reveals-fight-against-nazis/
Empowered women Empower women! Where does empowerment come from? Enduring trials, tribulation, opposition, difficulty!?! I think you become empowered when you take something negative and you make it work for you in a positive way. Whether you are inspired to help others because of your trial, or you seek to change something that has affected you negatively, you rise above and become stronger! Women have unique opportunities to prove their equality through their feminine nature while still valuing the way they treat others. The nature of women has proved its value across the vast spectrum of industry and the world! Embracing femininity, and empowering yourself with endurance through life's trials is true feminism!
http://mentalfloss.com/article/71122/20-fun-facts-about-i-love-lucy
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