I Love You First
In a movie you have the opening image which is life as they know it. Then there is a catalyst which throws the main character out of their comfort zone and in there is a meet cute. The meet cute is the fun, creative way that 2 characters meet and a relationship begins to develop. Then there is the "fun and games" part of the movie which is a sequence that shows the "falling in love" part of the story. Let's not forget the all important "all is lost" moment or as some might call it "bad guys closing in". This is the opposition or the trial. This tests the characters or the love of the relationship. Finally the movie reaches the climax with the all important resolution or "happily ever after"! This is the part we all wait for, this is the point of the movie, the whole reason we watch it, usually. In any movie, the character that changes the most is the main character.
This is an interesting article I read a few weeks ago, I really enjoyed it!
Romantic ideals, what are they? Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy sweeps girl off her feet, boy usually says"I love you" first. Boy proposes marriage to girl with a big fat expensive ring. This is kind of what society expects isn't it? This is what we see in most love story flicks especially the Disney animated ones from the 1990's. This is not always reality! It was not my reality! Maybe it wasn't reality for some of you either!My love story:
Meet cute/catalyst: studio 600 Salt Lake City, UT, 9 pm August 24th 2010. Girl, me, having a weird night being followed by every weird guy in the joint, runs into Jared, very handsome, buff, nice guy. She has reason to say no to giving him her phone number after the night she has had. As she is leaving, a funny thing happens. She runs into him again and he is very genuine and kind, so she feels guilty and gives in.
We talked on the phone for awhile, then went on many dates, stayed up late talking. I even asked him on a few dates! Some of our dates took place at late hours because of our crazy schedules. Many dates featured us cooking together, usually dinner and just talking or maybe watching a movie. Going on walks was also a frequent date activity. Feelings developed, after dating other people and each other there is a kiss, and then just dating each other.
All is Lost/ Bad Guys Close In:
After awhile of that, girl falls in love with boy. This happens to be the "all is lost" moment for the boy, haha! Girl tells boy how she feels one night and then he starts finding ways and/or reasons to break up. Girl knows this needs to happen though because if he does not feel or could not feel the same, then it is time to move on! She doesn't want to waste any time here! As I like to call it "an Eve in the garden moment", this is when the girl must make a hard decision in order to bring more happiness!
Yes this was me, I did what some people might think of as the unthinkable or the inappropriate! Haha! I said "I love you" first! AHHHH! THE SCANDAL, THE INTRIGUE! My roommates and friends told me I had ruined it! According to a widely accepted opinion, I had just committed relationship suicide! They thought I was the most naive, stupid girl! Believe me I had weird looks and lectures like you can't believe. Thank you PEANUT GALLERY!!! Please, don't kid yourself, chivalry is not dead, but it is not a bad thing for a girl to take charge of her own life (Eve in the garden)! I thought "why should I sit around and wait for him to say it first, why hide my feelings, it has been a good amount of time!" Had I not done it, there may have never been a catalyst for our main character here to change! While the boy did struggle a little and wanted to find a way out, he also told me "he did not want to tell me what he thought I wanted to hear. BOOM! Little did he know, that was exactly what I needed to hear, to know for sure he was genuine with his feelings! I was ready to propose marriage right then and there! I knew he was a keeper!
He did not break up with me, instead he turned to the Lord. I admired his enduring attitude and his quest to find out if he could love me, it only made my love for him grow! He carried the conference edition of the Ensign with him everywhere and read and reread every talk in the priesthood session that had to do with marriage! We continued spending time together and I patiently waited for him. After attending a temple session one night, he slept better than he had in months and he woke up the next morning knowing it was going to be alright to marry me.
The Resolution/Happily Ever After:
Boy did fall in love with girl and married her! After the boy could not find any good reason to not be with the girl, he came to the conclusion that he loved her too!
The day he first talked to me about getting married, he did not know I had ordered my wedding dress the day before. Believe me, I was still not sure we would marry, and I kind of made fun of girls who did that! I was doing a lot of online dress shopping with many of my friends who were all getting married. I saw this dress and knew it was mine, it was the only one I ever tried on. I took a picture of this dress around to bridal shops and asked if they had it, to my surprise it was pretty easy to find. The 2nd shop I went to had it, plus I got it on sale! When I told the boy about this I just said " If I don't marry you I will marry someone eventually!" This comment impressed the boy and made him a little uneasy.
Boy proposed to girl shortly after that! Most of this relationship was very direct and matter of fact! We were always extremely honest with each other. One time when I asked him why he initially asked for my phone number he just said he was collecting phone numbers that night. There was really nothing special that stood out to him about me, at the time. When I asked him why he was still calling me, when I thought the relationship wasn't going anywhere, he just said "I don't know"! Maybe that should have made me mad, but it just made me laugh! I loved that he was comfortable enough with me that he could be so blunt and honest! Don't worry he is far from a jerk, and this love story was far from a romantic screenplay! So it seemed!The romantic proposal proved to me that the boy was capable of being romantic. One night we had a date to go on a little flight with his pilot friend. Before I went to meet him I thought "hmm I wonder if he'll propose tonight?" Then I thought "No way, he's not ready yet." Well the whole time we were in the plane, he seemed nervous and kept asking what elevation we were at. Then he handed me some m&ms. I said I didn't want any, then he said "yes you do". Not thinking anything of it I just started eating them without looking at them. Then he started asking me weird questions, to get me to look at the m&ms. I was not cooperating and he was really getting worried I was going to eat them all before I got the message! When I finally did look down, I shockingly got the message, the red m&ms said "marry me", and we were a mile up in the sky. When we got back from our little excursion we turned on the radio and there was a proposal message from him and the dedicated song I'll die tryin by Lonestar. His recorded message was "Haley this is going to be really awkward right about now if you say no, but I would really love to marry you if you would love to marry me! Here’s a song for you gorgeous!" We then stopped the car right there on state street in Salt Lake City and got out to dance, in front of a car dealership! We just finished eating these m&ms last week as I took a picture for this blog! Frozen almost 8 years, haha!
There was no ring involved in my proposal, that was the other BIG MISTAKE people loved to point out. When I told people I was engaged they would always look for the ring! They would always wonder why I was not fuming mad at him because he hadn't purchased a ring! I received the response from many, "no ring, not really engaged!" Well, not being much of a jewelry person myself, I did not place that much emphasis on that part. The boy in this story hates shopping and knew nothing about engagement rings and did not want to pick something out I would not like. One of the boy's best qualities, in my opinion, is the ability to be frugal and I like having an example of that close by. Although I am pretty good at managing money, I always feel that I can do better. He begged me to just take his tax return and go buy whatever I wanted! Non traditional? Yes, big time! I had no problem with doing my own shopping and finding what I wanted. Starting a marriage out with a big fat bill of debt for a ring or a wedding did not seem smart to me. I had seen a lot of couples do that and I thought it was a dumb thing to do just to go along with the ways of the world! I did not spend that much and the boy still does not know what the girl spent on the ring, but it was not a real diamond, again not worth the money in my opinion!
My relationship has not been "a walk in the park" so to say! The most important things you can learn about a person are usually learned during adversity, trial, or when a "catalyst" throws your world out of balance! Even though this might be scary, a "catalyst" is a gift that gives us opportunity to change, to be the main character of your screenplay!
Empower yourself by being the main character in your own life! Allow change to occur, don't be afraid to tell what's in your heart and mind! Don't be afraid to "go against the grain" in your thinking and feeling!
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